Marrying Young Shouldn’t Be Scary


The other day at church the priest opened with a joke. The story goes like this: “As they were making final arrangements for the wedding Mass on Saturday, the groom-to-be’s uncle said to him: “Congratulations, my boy! I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.” “But I’m not getting married until tomorrow,” his nephew protested. “I know,” replied the uncle.

The joke was really funny and it also got me thinking. Why do people think marriage is like a trap, that once you’re in it, you can’t get out, and that you should wait as long as you can before entering into marriage?

I’m marrying at a young age and I’m super excited about it. I have no doubt that I’m marrying my soulmate. I’m 24 years old and she’s 21. I know it’s not as common to marry this young. We’ve talked about it a lot actually. We know we’re ready for what’s ahead.

I’ve been giving “advice” by SEVERAL people, some strangers, to not get married young. I’m not sure where this information comes from. Is it experience? Is it bad because they married young and it did not work out for them? I’ve yet to hear a good reason why we should wait. I have read, heard, and seen many examples and stories of why it’s a good idea though.  There are many perks to marrying young.

Your Freedoms Change, For the Better

One of the reasons I get told not to marry young is because I’ll lose my freedom. Where does this come from? What freedoms will I lose? Oh, I won’t get to watch as much football or go out with my boys all the time? We’ve discussed these things. We’ve come to an agreement on just about all of these so-called “freedoms” I lose. Do I really need to do all of the “30 things to do before 30?” I don’t need to go on a road trip by myself. I would much rather go with my best friend.

Grow together

Another reason I’m not worried about marrying young is that we both know we are going to change. We know that we have to change together and we’re looking forward to going to therapy to ease this process. Even if a relationship seems 100% healthy, therapy can help. We know things will get tough but we are very purpose-driven people. We know having a strong relationship is very important to raise our children. We’re always looking for ways to make our relationship better.  I can’t wait to look back in 10 years and see how we have helped mold each other into better people.

Less Baggage

Another reason I’m super excited about getting married young is that we both have less baggage. We have never been married or engaged. Neither of us has children or any lingering connection to an ex. We don’t have any tattoos of our ex’s name (thank God).  We don’t own homes yet and we don’t have to tear up our lives and root them somewhere else. Emma and I are starting from the ground up and we can build everything together. She won’t be bringing in baggage the bad breakup she had from a guy she was with for 4 years and neither will I.

It Won’t Be Too Late

I don’t have to worry about waiting and then settling for someone who I’m not as compatible with. I will never have to look back and think, “man, I should have tried harder with her” or, “I knew she was the one, but now it’s too late.” Thomas Rhett sings a beautiful song Marry Me that is about a guy who waited too long to tell a woman how he felt about her. Now it’s her wedding day and he has to sit in the back and watch the woman he loves marry another man. I will never have to worry about that. I am marrying the woman I love right now!

It’s By Choice, Not Pressure

Since marrying young is not the norm, there is no one pressuring us.  In fact, it has been pretty much been the opposite.  We’ve received a lot of advice telling us we should wait.  We feel very comfortable with the decision we have made.  Emma and I have sat down and discussed all of the possibilities. We have talked about when we want to get married and when we want to start a family.   We are 100% convinced that we are making the right decision.  In just 5 short days we get to marry each other!

While I haven’t experienced young married life yet, I can say that it shouldn’t be scary.  You should be excited about spending more time with your soulmate and starting your family as early as you would like.  You should be ready to go on adventures with your best friend and to experience the world with your soulmate.

Check out One Year Later – Reflections And Thoughts to see our one year update!

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Shellby February 25, 2018
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Brett and I were married in 2014. I was 18 and he was 19. Our marriage has had its rough patches, but almost 4 years later I am 100% confident in saying marrying him so young was the best decision I have made thus far in my life. We have grown together and will continue to grow together. We were told that we would “grow apart” but in my opinion, we have grown together—much like vines intertwine together as they grow. We are inseparable. I cannot imagine life without Brett and you and Emma will feel the exact same way... I’m sure of it. I was terrified when Brett and I got married, but a good terrified... because there were SO many possibilities! We now have 2 beautiful little girls and are planning for a third baby that will hopefully be born before 2018 is over. God knows what He is doing with you two! ♥️ Y’all are amazing people without one another and even more amazing together. To me, there is no “Emma” or “Jerry,” there is only “Emma and Jerry.” Just like for everyone Brett and I know can’t think of one of us without thinking of the other. We will see you all in 5 short days to be apart of the happiest day of your life! Love you both!